A Life in Color

I’m very private person as my girlfriend will undoubtedly tell you if asked – hell its one of the reasons I have this site and write under a pen name.  It took me almost a week to fully be able to get my thoughts out here about the birth of my little girl, the princess.  Words aren’t enough to describe what I felt seeing her the first time.  Sure a little fear popped up, especially watching as she came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.  The doctor acted quickly as it was removed and instantly that fear was washed away by hearing her cry for the first time.  When I left the next day from the hospital to grab some food and some things for my girlfriend – the princess who became the queen of my life – the world seemed different….   All the holiday things in the borough seemed to be put up overnight and lit just for me as I drove that morning.  A surreal sight.  While grabbing some food quickly at the grocery store I stopped next to a little ornament that said ‘baby’s first Christmas…. Of course I picked it up to surprise my girlfriend…

I know for me prior to this day it was lots of thinking about what “it” would be like when she was here.  None of it was really true of course, the mind playing possibilities that are endless, but he reality is the first time she cried and I told her to “ssshhh” quietly and she listened makes me smile still today.  It makes me realize that the madness I’ve been through in this life was worth it just for that moment… and those that are coming next…

 

“Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die”

~ Photograph, Ed Sheeren