Things That Are Never To Be

The say life is what you make of it, I don’t know who “they” are but they are full of shit! While a portion of your life you control how it effects you, in the end others have more power over your life more then you realize.  Sure you can argue it’s all in how you handle it, but I say yada, yada, yada… fuck off.  Let’s be honest at times more often then not people are shit! They are self centered throwbacks to survival of the fittest – strong shall survive and weak shall fall… Apocalypse would be proud we are still a virus, but now with shoes! It maybe a cynical view, but the end of the day – you know it’s damn true.  How many of us really give a rats plague carrying ass about our fellow man in the grand schemes of things?

Sure my views today might be pushing the “normal” limits for even me because life sucks.  It’s true, you know – we work, fuck and die.  In this case 2 out of 3 is bad… Yes fight, resist – whatever you want to call it. The end don’t care much for what you did or didn’t do that’s for you work out in the time you have.  Not that I don’t care, because I do but honestly I have my own shit to work out…. some of which weighs on me everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Some are better then others, most are ok – a few are pretty rough. Those days are tight chested, anxiety dreams, heart attack waiting, etc….

So yah i’m not doing great right now, but I’m never sure I will be – just when I think i’m okay it starts over maybe this is hell. Maybe this is nothing compared to what’s next, maybe just maybe it’s all in my head.  I’m never sure what’s scarier living in hell or only living in hell because it’s in my head… I don’t need a hug, I don’t need any of that, what I need is something I can never put my finger on…. Maybe that’s the scariest part a search without knowing what you’re looking for?