Knock Kock….Will you let me in?
There is a distance between us no matter how close we are. The barriers that we create are not physical, but they forcibly keep us out all the same. The membrane that repels us may exist solely in the mind, but it manifests itself in so many different ways. This gulf happens every day, with every person you know, and it is considered impolite to point it out. Thankfully, I many not be the most polite person that you know and therefore I don’t really care so much about what’s acceptable. So let us pick the scab shall we?
What is the point of cocoon-ing yourself away from pain? I’m sure that it helps stave of immediate pain…but the long-term repercussions rarely seem to play out this way. We put up walls to secure our ego, to make sure that people cannot hurt us beyond our ability to repair…yet we willingly give people the power to destroy us. Every relationship that you have is a bond of trust that you are looking out for the betterment of the other person; You open up through each other and acknowledge that this world is a big and scary place, but you promise to get through this together. If you imagine yourself climbing a mountain, it is certainly easier to accomplish this task with a well equipped team that is prepared to help each person reach the summit. Each team member that you create a relationship is a life line that you are tied to in case of less than optimal conditions. The intelligence in this approach is that you form a safety net to keep each other from falling to far at any given time. The problem is that you can’t ascend as quickly as you would if you weren’t being held back by these other people.
Interesting concept really, at what point do you gamble and decide to cut yourself loose and shoot for the summit. What point do you ethically begin to think that your safety net is more of a burden than an asset? You can argue it is an individual determination, but it would be nice if we could make a collective decision to make a concerted contribution. In society we see people who need help as weak and inferior, I know I sit in the shadows and watch people cast stones every day. To all of you, I wear a different costume to be sure; I’m a friend, a lover, a co-worker, a stranger, a jock, a dork, a companion…we all have so many different roles among one another. When you are consciously aware of the web we weave to one another, it allows you to walk along the shadows in between interactions like a chameleon blended in. When I sit around a group of “cool kids” and they mock those who are inferior, I am allowed a glimpse behind the curtain on how they’d see me if I wasn’t accepted among them. Take this analogy and spin it any way that you’d like, but I’m sure you can understand what I mean when you are part of the inside joke that others cannot relate to. The problem is that most people rarely understand that there’s so many circles, we all are inferior to other castes and niches, no matter how superior we may feel on the inside.
I think we all know this, I think secretly that is what we all build the walls to keep one another out. The perception of who we are is stronger than our actual belief of who we are…and I think that is bullshit. When you look at me, and you cast judgment upon me…it allows me a reflection into who you are, because I am not concerned with who you think I am. I watch these interactions intimately from the middle of the action, as well as casually observing from the sidelines. We all yearn to find someone who understands us, but we cannot trust anyone with the knowledge of who we are. We fear that by allowing someone access into who we are, that we will have no protection against the stones we cast. We fear this so much that we go along with the bullying of others to take the target off of ourselves. The belief is that it is better not to speak up and get dragged into the maelstrom than it is to stand up for your belief. There is a belief that the media reinforces this by using the hero role in movies; You can relate that one person can stand up and change the world…but it is not you, you are just a spectator trying to survive until the hero comes alone…you even have popcorn and snacks. The moment that you stop building walls, you fear that the Mongol horde will swarm over the top and obliterate everything that you spent your entire existence building. When you think about it, it is kind of like when you are a little kid and you start building Lego…you begin to hide them so the other kids won’t carelessly destroy them to build their own crappy things. You don’t understand that their crappy things may be works of art in their mind…because you are too focused on how nice your constructs are…just right.
Bill Hicks used to do a great monologue on life being just a ride, I highly recommend that you search for it on YouTube. He exclaimed that life is just a ride, like a carnival, and we are all just along to enjoy it…but the people who profit from the ride have a hard time easing up their grip. We protect the things we build at the expense of the people who will enjoy and benefit from the things we build. I am an intriguing individual…if I never open up than you cannot be exposed to the person that I am. The more I stay cloistered within my walls, the quieter it gets outside. The more that we lock the doors and pull down the windows….the more we deafen our ears to the cries of those we truly need the most. We create individual works of art out of the moments that shape our lives. We paint pictures with the memories that we retain from our experiences in this life. There is no point in having priceless works of art if no one ever gets to see them. The point of art is to inspire others to move forward, not to simply analyze the individual and grade them on how well they used their medium. When people walk through the gallery that is my life, I do not wish that they admire the beauty and grandeur of it…I hope that they are stirred to throw their paints chaotically at a canvas to create their own.
That is the point of this blog, and I look forward to the moment that you use it. Log in, create a profile, leave a comment and we’ll get to know one another. Dig through the links, send an email and I’ll reply…the only barrier is your willingness to take that step. Have no fear, we are all terrified. Let us fall together and explore the chasm that lies between us.